so here i go again, for the umpteenth time no doubt - trying to write even though i have nothing in particular to say.
i think nothing these days.
i feel nothing these days.
and no matter how many activities i fill my day with, nothing seems to make a difference.
its almost as if I am so
full of emptiness
there is no room for anything to take hold.
what happened to me??
i used to be full of spunk and fire,
schemes and dreams...
i was dogmatic and tenacious,
competitive and ambitious...
unbearably so.
and today, i am....
just
coasting
through life.
i suppose i have been tempered
by experience,
failure,
reality
and disappointment...
in the world, the people in it,
and mostly myself...
i guess i am hoping that writing will make me
account for myself somehow.
i will HAVE to think again.
to feel again.
and then maybe someday
hope again.
